-= Joke of the Post =-
A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers: “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You got Male!!!
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
From thespian to lesbian
I watched
Epic Movie on 15th Feb with Ah Wee, William, Randy and Hock Soon,
Ghost Rider on 16th Feb with Eugene,
Just Follow Law on 19th Feb with my mum, sis and bro,
Protege on 20th Feb with Randy, Hock Soon, Hern Khoon and Wei Meng, and
Notes on a Scandal on 22nd Feb with Hui Xin.
And I believe I have just set my newest personal movie record. Don't ask me why, I have no idea how I clocked this achievement.
Anyway, I need to fulfil my egotistical knack for commenting on every movie I saw. Protege is a typical Hong Kong mafia flick, starring a very charismatic Andy Lau and eye candies Louis Koo and Daniel Wu. Just Follow Law had me gaping with a crotch-scratching Fann Wong. I like Jack Neo's insightful and hilarious jibes at officialdom, but as usual, his movies turn quite preachy and melodramatic at the end. But both are festive and friendly box-office films for everyone to enjoy.
However, the heavyweight, in my opinion, lies in Notes on a Scandal. Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett truly live up to their Oscar nominations by delivering evocative and nuanced performances. Judi Dench, my favourite granny actor, is truly scary yet humanly as a psycho lesbian that it is quite disturbing at some points. Her obvious disdain for the students in her school, her barbed remarks towards her incompetent colleagues, her muted outrage at her betrayal, her subtle manipulation of Cate Blanchett, every pore (and wrinkle) of her oozes the thespian air. While the Academy judges might find her and the show too dysfunctional, I think Helen Mirren of The Queen should abdicate in favour of this Grand Dame.
Anyway, Hui Xin found the freckles-infested 15 years-old guy Cate Blanchett had a affair with quite cute. I thought he was ok only.
Epic Movie on 15th Feb with Ah Wee, William, Randy and Hock Soon,
Ghost Rider on 16th Feb with Eugene,
Just Follow Law on 19th Feb with my mum, sis and bro,
Protege on 20th Feb with Randy, Hock Soon, Hern Khoon and Wei Meng, and
Notes on a Scandal on 22nd Feb with Hui Xin.
And I believe I have just set my newest personal movie record. Don't ask me why, I have no idea how I clocked this achievement.
Anyway, I need to fulfil my egotistical knack for commenting on every movie I saw. Protege is a typical Hong Kong mafia flick, starring a very charismatic Andy Lau and eye candies Louis Koo and Daniel Wu. Just Follow Law had me gaping with a crotch-scratching Fann Wong. I like Jack Neo's insightful and hilarious jibes at officialdom, but as usual, his movies turn quite preachy and melodramatic at the end. But both are festive and friendly box-office films for everyone to enjoy.
However, the heavyweight, in my opinion, lies in Notes on a Scandal. Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett truly live up to their Oscar nominations by delivering evocative and nuanced performances. Judi Dench, my favourite granny actor, is truly scary yet humanly as a psycho lesbian that it is quite disturbing at some points. Her obvious disdain for the students in her school, her barbed remarks towards her incompetent colleagues, her muted outrage at her betrayal, her subtle manipulation of Cate Blanchett, every pore (and wrinkle) of her oozes the thespian air. While the Academy judges might find her and the show too dysfunctional, I think Helen Mirren of The Queen should abdicate in favour of this Grand Dame.
Anyway, Hui Xin found the freckles-infested 15 years-old guy Cate Blanchett had a affair with quite cute. I thought he was ok only.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Empty Extravaganza
Snort! Grunt! Oink! Happy New Year everyone! 猪大家过个大肥年!
It's chu yi today! May everyone get big fat ang baos! May gamblers shang hua zi mo, ban ban, and royal flush!
So today, my family went to my paternal grandma's house to bai nian first and then to pray at a temple. Ok. Fast forward..
In the evening, we went to River Ang Bao. It has been our family tradition to visit this destination every year. And wow, this is actually our 13th time there. But sadly, we seem to be more disappointed with every year.
Once a grand extravaganza celebrating the arrival of the new zodiac year, the River Ang Bao has dinimished into a pitiful sillouette of its glorious past, nothing more than a hyped up, cheena fun-fair cum pasar malam. I remember the good old times, the years before 2000, where emphasis were placed on spreading the festive spirit and promoting the traditional Chinese cultures. Every year, tremendous efforts were spent on making life-like scupltures for the staple 12 zodiac animals and the God of Wealth, as well as other mythological characters like Sun Wu Kong and the Eight immortals. Creativity was abound as each year had a distinguished theme. I recall, from the Tiger year, how they set up a mini soccer field with the tiger as the coach and 11 players made up by the 11 other animals, in sync with the World Cup that year. But now, for 3 consecutive years, all the statues, entrances and buildings just have one standard build: Inferior fabric cloths wrapped on metal wire frames, lighted up by lanterns within. The designs are plain and lacklustre, and changed so sparingly that I'm not surprised they are re-used. River Ang Bao is also mainly a commercial affair now, with food stalls, apparel and souvenior stalls and the fun-fair taking up the bulk of the event. This year, the only things reminding me that this is not a pasar malam are the hanging Chinese lanterns, a pathetic God of Wealth statue, 12 even more pathetic Zodiac statues and a miniscule exhibition on some CNY traditions. It's such a drag that we left within an hour to sit at the Esplanade to wait for the fireworks.
And what a spectacular display it was! It was in fact the saving grace for the whole River Ang Bao fiasco. 8 minutes of awe and wonder. That's what it was.
And, ta-da, I have finally completed my River Ang Bao Zodiac phonecard collection which I have faithfully collected for the last 12 years. 12 years.. I'm so proud of myself.
Well, I have one last interesting incident to recount. When we went to Geylang for supper, we drove past the entrances of some back alleys. Amassed in these alleys were hordes of men, all races, all ages, same motive. It was almost like a Workers' Party rally. Anyway, as I was eating my palatable porridge later, I cant help but wonder whether they will jack up the price of each transaction just as the auntie overcharged my porridge today. But to the guys there, I guess it matters little.
Well, that's that for today. Time for my beauty sleep. More ang baos tomorrow yeah!
It's chu yi today! May everyone get big fat ang baos! May gamblers shang hua zi mo, ban ban, and royal flush!
So today, my family went to my paternal grandma's house to bai nian first and then to pray at a temple. Ok. Fast forward..
In the evening, we went to River Ang Bao. It has been our family tradition to visit this destination every year. And wow, this is actually our 13th time there. But sadly, we seem to be more disappointed with every year.
Once a grand extravaganza celebrating the arrival of the new zodiac year, the River Ang Bao has dinimished into a pitiful sillouette of its glorious past, nothing more than a hyped up, cheena fun-fair cum pasar malam. I remember the good old times, the years before 2000, where emphasis were placed on spreading the festive spirit and promoting the traditional Chinese cultures. Every year, tremendous efforts were spent on making life-like scupltures for the staple 12 zodiac animals and the God of Wealth, as well as other mythological characters like Sun Wu Kong and the Eight immortals. Creativity was abound as each year had a distinguished theme. I recall, from the Tiger year, how they set up a mini soccer field with the tiger as the coach and 11 players made up by the 11 other animals, in sync with the World Cup that year. But now, for 3 consecutive years, all the statues, entrances and buildings just have one standard build: Inferior fabric cloths wrapped on metal wire frames, lighted up by lanterns within. The designs are plain and lacklustre, and changed so sparingly that I'm not surprised they are re-used. River Ang Bao is also mainly a commercial affair now, with food stalls, apparel and souvenior stalls and the fun-fair taking up the bulk of the event. This year, the only things reminding me that this is not a pasar malam are the hanging Chinese lanterns, a pathetic God of Wealth statue, 12 even more pathetic Zodiac statues and a miniscule exhibition on some CNY traditions. It's such a drag that we left within an hour to sit at the Esplanade to wait for the fireworks.
And what a spectacular display it was! It was in fact the saving grace for the whole River Ang Bao fiasco. 8 minutes of awe and wonder. That's what it was.
And, ta-da, I have finally completed my River Ang Bao Zodiac phonecard collection which I have faithfully collected for the last 12 years. 12 years.. I'm so proud of myself.
Well, I have one last interesting incident to recount. When we went to Geylang for supper, we drove past the entrances of some back alleys. Amassed in these alleys were hordes of men, all races, all ages, same motive. It was almost like a Workers' Party rally. Anyway, as I was eating my palatable porridge later, I cant help but wonder whether they will jack up the price of each transaction just as the auntie overcharged my porridge today. But to the guys there, I guess it matters little.
Well, that's that for today. Time for my beauty sleep. More ang baos tomorrow yeah!
Oink!
Ways for you to know that it's the Pig year;
1. Tourism posters of "Uniquely Singapork" appears along Orchard Road.
2. People start playing zhu-mangi again.
3. You gamble with porker cards.
4. Residents sign up at CCs for swine appreciation classesand sow-ing lessons.
5. Piglet wins the porkularity contest against Winnie the Pooh and Tigger.
7. Kids play hog-scotch; adults play hog-key.
8. You meet up with your friends for talk pork session.
9. Animal-lovers flock to the Zhulogical Gardens to see the porkcupine.
10. People flock to cinemas to catch Babe and Boar-at.
11. Toy stores are selling Babi dolls.
1. Tourism posters of "Uniquely Singapork" appears along Orchard Road.
2. People start playing zhu-mangi again.
3. You gamble with porker cards.
4. Residents sign up at CCs for swine appreciation classesand sow-ing lessons.
5. Piglet wins the porkularity contest against Winnie the Pooh and Tigger.
7. Kids play hog-scotch; adults play hog-key.
8. You meet up with your friends for talk pork session.
9. Animal-lovers flock to the Zhulogical Gardens to see the porkcupine.
10. People flock to cinemas to catch Babe and Boar-at.
11. Toy stores are selling Babi dolls.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Ember
After watching a lame show yesterday, I insisted on catching a cool show today with Eugene, who was my Anderson schoolmate and now my colleague. I decided on my one of my favourite Marvel characters ever, the Ghost Rider!
After watching it, I would say that if Epic Movie needs a wheelchair, Ghost Rider needs a stretcher.
It's chock full of cheesy hero-speak and repartee that it's more of a comedy than anything else. But it was lame to the point that Eugene and I actually found it hilarious. And here I must quote some of the classical ones.
On the verge of destroying the Air/Wind Elemental, Ghost Rider says:
"It's time to clear the air!"
When the devil's son transformed into a new evil entity after absorbing one thousand souls, he announced:
"My new name is Legion, as I'm made of many"
I was a tad disappointed with the narration and cinematography. The film feels very segmented, the action scenes do not deliver, and the relationship between Nicholas Cage and Eva Mendes is not well developed. Overall, there's a sense of being neither here nor there, and you wonder how the 100 minutes pass.
But Nicholas Cage is not bad actually. He pulls off the pained superhero feel and the corny lines quite effortlessly. I seriously think that it must be the stupid director who screwed up the whole film with his out-of-focus themes and incessant editting. Shame on him.
Anyway, if I have my choice, I would cast another actor to portray Ghost Rider, and he is Keanu Reeves. He just needs to channel his attitude ala Constantine. That'd be seriously cool.
-= Joke of the Post =-
In the spirit of the coming Chinese New Year..
What is the most unlucky CNY song?
It's 迎春花. Because the chorus goes:
幸福来呀 幸福来呀 大地放光彩, which sounds like,
醒不来呀 醒不来呀 大厅放棺材
After watching it, I would say that if Epic Movie needs a wheelchair, Ghost Rider needs a stretcher.
It's chock full of cheesy hero-speak and repartee that it's more of a comedy than anything else. But it was lame to the point that Eugene and I actually found it hilarious. And here I must quote some of the classical ones.
On the verge of destroying the Air/Wind Elemental, Ghost Rider says:
"It's time to clear the air!"
When the devil's son transformed into a new evil entity after absorbing one thousand souls, he announced:
"My new name is Legion, as I'm made of many"
I was a tad disappointed with the narration and cinematography. The film feels very segmented, the action scenes do not deliver, and the relationship between Nicholas Cage and Eva Mendes is not well developed. Overall, there's a sense of being neither here nor there, and you wonder how the 100 minutes pass.
But Nicholas Cage is not bad actually. He pulls off the pained superhero feel and the corny lines quite effortlessly. I seriously think that it must be the stupid director who screwed up the whole film with his out-of-focus themes and incessant editting. Shame on him.
Anyway, if I have my choice, I would cast another actor to portray Ghost Rider, and he is Keanu Reeves. He just needs to channel his attitude ala Constantine. That'd be seriously cool.
-= Joke of the Post =-
In the spirit of the coming Chinese New Year..
What is the most unlucky CNY song?
It's 迎春花. Because the chorus goes:
幸福来呀 幸福来呀 大地放光彩, which sounds like,
醒不来呀 醒不来呀 大厅放棺材
Epic Movie
With a stellar cast of Cap Jack Sparrow, Superman, Harry Potter, Willy Wonka, Nacho Libre, Paris Hilton, Borat and so on and so forth, Epic Movie truly deserves its namesake.
However, it is so lame it hardly has a leg to stand on. It probably needs a wheelchair.
You must understand that I venture into this movie without watching any Scary Movie or the Date Movie. I was totally dumbstruck at the spoofs and antics in the show. The whole film was a anything-goes-ville. It's out-of-point, logic-defying and totally haywire. Most satires were so corny you groan in agony.
But while I generally cringe at most slap-sticks, I must admit there are a number of laugh-out-loud scenes. Maybe it's the magic of my army buddies, Ah Wee, Randy, William and Hock Soon, who are pretty much lamers themselves. And I was pleasantly surprised by how they can link up Harry Potter, X-men, Pirates, Harold and Kumar, Narnia, Star Wars, etc, all into one mindless but loosely coherent sojourn.
Yet overall, Epic Movie is really epic-cally lame. And the guys in it know it. They measured.
-= Joke of the Post =-
Mr. Matchstick was walking down the street when his scalp began to itch very badly. He started to scratch, and scratched harder and harder.
Then, he suddenly burnt himself to death.
However, it is so lame it hardly has a leg to stand on. It probably needs a wheelchair.
You must understand that I venture into this movie without watching any Scary Movie or the Date Movie. I was totally dumbstruck at the spoofs and antics in the show. The whole film was a anything-goes-ville. It's out-of-point, logic-defying and totally haywire. Most satires were so corny you groan in agony.
But while I generally cringe at most slap-sticks, I must admit there are a number of laugh-out-loud scenes. Maybe it's the magic of my army buddies, Ah Wee, Randy, William and Hock Soon, who are pretty much lamers themselves. And I was pleasantly surprised by how they can link up Harry Potter, X-men, Pirates, Harold and Kumar, Narnia, Star Wars, etc, all into one mindless but loosely coherent sojourn.
Yet overall, Epic Movie is really epic-cally lame. And the guys in it know it. They measured.
-= Joke of the Post =-
Mr. Matchstick was walking down the street when his scalp began to itch very badly. He started to scratch, and scratched harder and harder.
Then, he suddenly burnt himself to death.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Emperor
A long time ago, I used to call myself Ming Yang the Great. Today, I have been surpassed by an totalitarian who proclaims himself the Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea.
I'm talking about the dictator Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland, which i watched with wei meng and russell today. Forest Whitaker is unbelievingly convincing as the psychotic Amin. And he really looks like a bear, albeit a schizophrenic one. He is one moment a cuddly teddy, another a ruthless and grimacing grizzly. He dismembered his fourth wife for having a tryst. The adulterer got hoisted in the air by hooks pierced into his chest. That gotta hurt. But gore aside, this is really an intense and interesting drama that I would recommend all to watch.
I also watched Happy Birthday with hui xin on Sunday. Honestly, the film has not an ounce of originality, but I like the chemistry between Louis Koo and Rene Liu very much. And Rene scores, as usual, with her nuanced yet layered performance. Overall, the flick is warm, subtle and sweet, and endearingly close to heart.
Speaking of birthdays, a lot of my friends and myself turn 21 this year. I'm quite thrilled that we are all moving towards adulthood. Towards freedom and independence. Where we decide our own destiny. That's something.
-= Joke of the Post =-
Q: Why did the vampire refuse to die for his wife?
A: Because their love was an undying love.
I'm talking about the dictator Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland, which i watched with wei meng and russell today. Forest Whitaker is unbelievingly convincing as the psychotic Amin. And he really looks like a bear, albeit a schizophrenic one. He is one moment a cuddly teddy, another a ruthless and grimacing grizzly. He dismembered his fourth wife for having a tryst. The adulterer got hoisted in the air by hooks pierced into his chest. That gotta hurt. But gore aside, this is really an intense and interesting drama that I would recommend all to watch.
I also watched Happy Birthday with hui xin on Sunday. Honestly, the film has not an ounce of originality, but I like the chemistry between Louis Koo and Rene Liu very much. And Rene scores, as usual, with her nuanced yet layered performance. Overall, the flick is warm, subtle and sweet, and endearingly close to heart.
Speaking of birthdays, a lot of my friends and myself turn 21 this year. I'm quite thrilled that we are all moving towards adulthood. Towards freedom and independence. Where we decide our own destiny. That's something.
-= Joke of the Post =-
Q: Why did the vampire refuse to die for his wife?
A: Because their love was an undying love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)