Ecstacy

I watched an pretty obscure French film called 13 Tzameti. At least I think so, as the dialogue is in French. But then, some of the dialogue sounded like German, and my friend claims that the cityscape of some scenes reminds him of Italy. This friend is a certain 19 years old guy who just spent 1 month travelling in Europe. And he is going to spend a fortnight in Dubai, at the famed 7-stars hotel.

I'm so jealous that I want to kill him. Which brings us back to the movie, which is a really about a perverse game of murder. The protagonist is a kpo young renovation contractor who unwittingly becomes involved in this recreational gamble as one of the 13 contestants. The participants stand in the circle facing the back of the person in front. Each holds a revolver containing 1 bullet. When the ligh bulb at the centre lights up, they shoot the guy in front of them. For the benefit of some, a revolver has 6 bullet slots, meaning u have a 1-in-6 chance to die and a 1-in-6 chance to kill the one in front of you. And finally, some die in the first round. The tension and fear escalates as each revolver is loaded with 2, then 3, then 4, bullets in the 2nd and 3rd rounds, and the final fuel. Not to mention the high stakes of millions involed.

I'm not going to tell you the ending. It's quite haphazard and ridiculous and you will go "What the hell?" And while the movie is 1 1/2 hrs long, the first 25 min is trash and the last 15 is the warped ending. But the middle 50 min alone is well worth your ticket price. The characters emote with so much force and life, and the atmosphere is so intense and gripping, that it's mind-blowing, heart-stopping, breath-taking, nerve-shredding and nail-biting.

And there's a reason while I wrote such a meandered post for this film. While people flock to watch cheap flicks like Epic Movie, the theatre that i watched this movie at today is barely 5% filled. And it's at most a 200-seater. I don't get it. While do good films like 13 Tzameti, Thank You for Smoking and Mrs Henderson presents get banished to the small and ulu cinemas even on their first week of screening? Even Mr. Bean gets the Grand Cathay. While I agree that these films are likely to garner only a small audience, the lack of trying by the cinema distributors is simply exasperating.

As is my conversation with the auntie selling popiah yesterday.

Me: Auntie, I want a popiah, takeaway.
Auntie: Chilli?
Me: No. I don't want beansprouts as well.
(She spreads the sweet sauce on the popiah skin and prepares to use the 2 utensils to scoop the main ingredient thingy.)
Me: Auntie, wait. I don't want the parsleys as well.
(She slams the 2 utensils on the board.)
Auntie: Like that how I wrap the popiah?
Me: But last time I came, another auntie also can do it wat? I go other stores, they also can do it wat?
Auntie: Hey, if you want like that, I very hard to wrap, the skin will break easily.

I was about to go on that I can not buy if she cannot do it when another auntie from the stall came and pacified the situation. I was so pissed off that I was on the verge of unleashing my barrage of verbal assaults on her. Maybe my order is a bit demanding, but her attitude is appalling. I'm sure this is the kind of service that will make us the island of 4 million smiles.

Spartans rule!

Prepare for glory! No, no.. Prepare for the coolest movie ever! Well, at least since Sin City. Prepare for 300! I caught the movie yesterday, and am still reeling in awe at the grandeur and sheer coolness of the picture.

Imagine 300 soldiers up against an army of one million. And the soldiers are clad only in a helmet, swimming trunks and a red cape, armed with a spear, a sword and a shield. Imagine 300 Manhunt-ready eye-candies for the girls out there. I bet half the cinema audience are drooping saliva.

That's besides the point. 300 is really about how King Leonidas of Sparta led 300 Spartan elite soldiers against the mighty million-strong Persian army, which consists of slaves, elite masked "immortals", giants, armour-plated rhinoceros. humongous LOTR-worthy elephants, barbarians, sorcerers, and archers whose arrows released could together block out the sun. The army can even cause an eathquake when on the move. But no problem was too big for the Spartans. At most, they just fought in the shade.

And the battle scenes are the coolest stuff ever. You will gape at how the Spartans annihilate one threat after another with grace and unblinking power. You will wonder at the alluring backdrop and stellar cinematography. You will laugh at the hard-wired humour and calmness of the Spartans in the face of peril.

Ultimately, this is a tale of courage and sacrifice, of how 300 Spartans fought and died and inspired all Greeks to stand together against the divine Persian army. But heck it all, it's one of the coolest and grandest movie ever.

PREPARE FOR GLORY!

Just leave

I see that more than a few have taken offence at my blog of late. I was quite shocked to see epithets of vulgarities used on my tagboard.

I'm not particularly shocked, for I have made more than a few enemies so far and it would not seem far-fetched for them to exact their revenge here. But I do not know. These people could really be enemies or are simply passers-by. Yet, whichever the case, I am still disgusted with such an act of cowardice and discourtsesy.

My post here today is not to declare a challenge or make war. I simply don't want to see such comments on my tag-board anymore as they are rude and unconstructive. For these people, if you know me, then I feel that you are just a low-down coward for using anonymous names to post impolite comments. It's nothing more than a despicable and desperate act to get back at me for whatever I have done to you. If I have really done henious deeds to you, you can contact me, in your real name, via any means and tell me what I have done wrong. I will make up. We have all done hurtful things unconsciously before. If it's just some petty minute issue, I implore you to just let things go and move on in life than waste your time in engaging in such petty pursuits. If you do not know me, then I'm perplexed as to why you took so much offence at what I've written to the extent that you have to post such extreme comments. My opinions voiced are pretty harmless. Honestly, if you do not know me and, for whatsoever reasons, are really angered by what I say, simply excuse yourself from my website forever. There is no cause for you to degrade yourself in such an unneccessary way. There's also no need for you to disturb my other readers by letting them read profanities and irrelevant comments in my website.

I have removed all expletives and unruly, rude comments on my tag-board. I hope all who are unhappy with my blog simple turn away and engage in better pastimes. I have no wish nor the time to indulge in such further pointless exchanges with you anymore.

Why do we cry?

When I first saw the title of the movie "Letters from Iwo Jima" in a poster, I read it as 'Letters from 1(st) WO (Warrant Officer) Jima". When I related this incident to my colleagues at Singtel, I had the guys spilling over with laughter for half an hour. Sigh.

Anyway I thought it apt for me to catch this film with my army buddies who have braved untold dangers with me during my 1 1/2 years in Sembawang Air Base, risking our very lives to defend the base from terrorists, especially military toughies which hold the ranks of Major and above, who try to smuggle laptops, pirated DVDs, camera handphones, etc etc into the base.

Ok, back to the point. My judgement was quite right after all. Letters is not another soapy war film that focuses on war-torn couples and frilly love like Pearl Harbour, but a true war movie about kinship, loyalty, courage, vulnerabilities, and quite literally, blood and tears. Men take central stage as they display bravery, weakness, and all sorts of epiphany through the battle. But that doesn't mean women are next to nothing. Behind their facedes of toughness and resilience, they show their true selves as they write letters to their mothers and wives. There was one poignant moment, as a Japanese officer read a letter found on a dying US soldier from his mother. Borrowing a line from Ken Watanabe, "I swore to die to protect my family, but the thought of them makes it difficult to keep that promise."

Towards the end, I was almost moved to tears by many heart-aching moments. Which actually led me thinking, why am I crying for the Japanese soldiers? They invaded Singapore, and SE Asia and China, and made life hell for our forefathers. In fact, why do we cry when we watch soapy Korean romance shows, or when we read tragedies and disasters on newspapers? I mean, the lives and deaths of the characters, real or fictional, are none of our business after all.

Then I was enlightened, sort of. The keyword is Humanity. i think that we are not actually crying for the protagonists, but for humanity itself. I believe that all humans are ultimately connected by a sense of humanity that transcends all barriers. No matter how ruthless and cruel one might appear to be, I believe he still have that bit of conscience and humanity left somewhere in his heart. Just like Darth Vader who returned to the good side when his master is about to kill his son. Maybe that's why Clint Eastwood can produce a Japanese film. Perhaps that's why we all cry.

Emphysema

It's been a hectic week, so much so it's quite stifling. But yet still quite fun actually. Basically, this week revolves around employment, OT, movies, mahjong, and a stayover, plus the hype in my office over release of the 'A' Levels results on Friday.

While I understand the anxiety of the girls in my office over the results release (all the guys have taken theirs two years back), I would just like to point out a simple fact. The A levels is, in truth, just a passport. A passport to the university that your want to go and the course you want to pursue. And if your are a high flyer, the scholarship you want. And nobody's going to remember if you achieved 4As or not in 10 years' time. It's merely a jumping patform to more things in your life. Yeah, so I hope that everyone is satisfied and happy with their performance and may they achieve their goals in their future endeavours.

E-age Education

-= Joke of the Post =-

A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers: “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You got Male!!!

From thespian to lesbian

I watched
Epic Movie on 15th Feb with Ah Wee, William, Randy and Hock Soon,
Ghost Rider on 16th Feb with Eugene,
Just Follow Law on 19th Feb with my mum, sis and bro,
Protege on 20th Feb with Randy, Hock Soon, Hern Khoon and Wei Meng, and
Notes on a Scandal on 22nd Feb with Hui Xin.

And I believe I have just set my newest personal movie record. Don't ask me why, I have no idea how I clocked this achievement.

Anyway, I need to fulfil my egotistical knack for commenting on every movie I saw. Protege is a typical Hong Kong mafia flick, starring a very charismatic Andy Lau and eye candies Louis Koo and Daniel Wu. Just Follow Law had me gaping with a crotch-scratching Fann Wong. I like Jack Neo's insightful and hilarious jibes at officialdom, but as usual, his movies turn quite preachy and melodramatic at the end. But both are festive and friendly box-office films for everyone to enjoy.

However, the heavyweight, in my opinion, lies in Notes on a Scandal. Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett truly live up to their Oscar nominations by delivering evocative and nuanced performances. Judi Dench, my favourite granny actor, is truly scary yet humanly as a psycho lesbian that it is quite disturbing at some points. Her obvious disdain for the students in her school, her barbed remarks towards her incompetent colleagues, her muted outrage at her betrayal, her subtle manipulation of Cate Blanchett, every pore (and wrinkle) of her oozes the thespian air. While the Academy judges might find her and the show too dysfunctional, I think Helen Mirren of The Queen should abdicate in favour of this Grand Dame.

Anyway, Hui Xin found the freckles-infested 15 years-old guy Cate Blanchett had a affair with quite cute. I thought he was ok only.

Empty Extravaganza

Snort! Grunt! Oink! Happy New Year everyone! 猪大家过个大肥年!

It's chu yi today! May everyone get big fat ang baos! May gamblers shang hua zi mo, ban ban, and royal flush!

So today, my family went to my paternal grandma's house to bai nian first and then to pray at a temple. Ok. Fast forward..

In the evening, we went to River Ang Bao. It has been our family tradition to visit this destination every year. And wow, this is actually our 13th time there. But sadly, we seem to be more disappointed with every year.

Once a grand extravaganza celebrating the arrival of the new zodiac year, the River Ang Bao has dinimished into a pitiful sillouette of its glorious past, nothing more than a hyped up, cheena fun-fair cum pasar malam. I remember the good old times, the years before 2000, where emphasis were placed on spreading the festive spirit and promoting the traditional Chinese cultures. Every year, tremendous efforts were spent on making life-like scupltures for the staple 12 zodiac animals and the God of Wealth, as well as other mythological characters like Sun Wu Kong and the Eight immortals. Creativity was abound as each year had a distinguished theme. I recall, from the Tiger year, how they set up a mini soccer field with the tiger as the coach and 11 players made up by the 11 other animals, in sync with the World Cup that year. But now, for 3 consecutive years, all the statues, entrances and buildings just have one standard build: Inferior fabric cloths wrapped on metal wire frames, lighted up by lanterns within. The designs are plain and lacklustre, and changed so sparingly that I'm not surprised they are re-used. River Ang Bao is also mainly a commercial affair now, with food stalls, apparel and souvenior stalls and the fun-fair taking up the bulk of the event. This year, the only things reminding me that this is not a pasar malam are the hanging Chinese lanterns, a pathetic God of Wealth statue, 12 even more pathetic Zodiac statues and a miniscule exhibition on some CNY traditions. It's such a drag that we left within an hour to sit at the Esplanade to wait for the fireworks.

And what a spectacular display it was! It was in fact the saving grace for the whole River Ang Bao fiasco. 8 minutes of awe and wonder. That's what it was.

And, ta-da, I have finally completed my River Ang Bao Zodiac phonecard collection which I have faithfully collected for the last 12 years. 12 years.. I'm so proud of myself.

Well, I have one last interesting incident to recount. When we went to Geylang for supper, we drove past the entrances of some back alleys. Amassed in these alleys were hordes of men, all races, all ages, same motive. It was almost like a Workers' Party rally. Anyway, as I was eating my palatable porridge later, I cant help but wonder whether they will jack up the price of each transaction just as the auntie overcharged my porridge today. But to the guys there, I guess it matters little.

Well, that's that for today. Time for my beauty sleep. More ang baos tomorrow yeah!

Oink!

Ways for you to know that it's the Pig year;

1. Tourism posters of "Uniquely Singapork" appears along Orchard Road.
2. People start playing zhu-mangi again.
3. You gamble with porker cards.
4. Residents sign up at CCs for swine appreciation classesand sow-ing lessons.
5. Piglet wins the porkularity contest against Winnie the Pooh and Tigger.
7. Kids play hog-scotch; adults play hog-key.
8. You meet up with your friends for talk pork session.
9. Animal-lovers flock to the Zhulogical Gardens to see the porkcupine.
10. People flock to cinemas to catch Babe and Boar-at.
11. Toy stores are selling Babi dolls.

Ember

After watching a lame show yesterday, I insisted on catching a cool show today with Eugene, who was my Anderson schoolmate and now my colleague. I decided on my one of my favourite Marvel characters ever, the Ghost Rider!

After watching it, I would say that if Epic Movie needs a wheelchair, Ghost Rider needs a stretcher.

It's chock full of cheesy hero-speak and repartee that it's more of a comedy than anything else. But it was lame to the point that Eugene and I actually found it hilarious. And here I must quote some of the classical ones.

On the verge of destroying the Air/Wind Elemental, Ghost Rider says:
"It's time to clear the air!"

When the devil's son transformed into a new evil entity after absorbing one thousand souls, he announced:
"My new name is Legion, as I'm made of many"

I was a tad disappointed with the narration and cinematography. The film feels very segmented, the action scenes do not deliver, and the relationship between Nicholas Cage and Eva Mendes is not well developed. Overall, there's a sense of being neither here nor there, and you wonder how the 100 minutes pass.

But Nicholas Cage is not bad actually. He pulls off the pained superhero feel and the corny lines quite effortlessly. I seriously think that it must be the stupid director who screwed up the whole film with his out-of-focus themes and incessant editting. Shame on him.

Anyway, if I have my choice, I would cast another actor to portray Ghost Rider, and he is Keanu Reeves. He just needs to channel his attitude ala Constantine. That'd be seriously cool.


-= Joke of the Post =-

In the spirit of the coming Chinese New Year..

What is the most unlucky CNY song?

It's 迎春花. Because the chorus goes:

幸福来呀 幸福来呀 大地放光彩, which sounds like,

醒不来呀 醒不来呀 大厅放棺材

Epic Movie

With a stellar cast of Cap Jack Sparrow, Superman, Harry Potter, Willy Wonka, Nacho Libre, Paris Hilton, Borat and so on and so forth, Epic Movie truly deserves its namesake.

However, it is so lame it hardly has a leg to stand on. It probably needs a wheelchair.

You must understand that I venture into this movie without watching any Scary Movie or the Date Movie. I was totally dumbstruck at the spoofs and antics in the show. The whole film was a anything-goes-ville. It's out-of-point, logic-defying and totally haywire. Most satires were so corny you groan in agony.

But while I generally cringe at most slap-sticks, I must admit there are a number of laugh-out-loud scenes. Maybe it's the magic of my army buddies, Ah Wee, Randy, William and Hock Soon, who are pretty much lamers themselves. And I was pleasantly surprised by how they can link up Harry Potter, X-men, Pirates, Harold and Kumar, Narnia, Star Wars, etc, all into one mindless but loosely coherent sojourn.

Yet overall, Epic Movie is really epic-cally lame. And the guys in it know it. They measured.



-= Joke of the Post =-

Mr. Matchstick was walking down the street when his scalp began to itch very badly. He started to scratch, and scratched harder and harder.

Then, he suddenly burnt himself to death.

Emperor

A long time ago, I used to call myself Ming Yang the Great. Today, I have been surpassed by an totalitarian who proclaims himself the Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea.

I'm talking about the dictator Idi Amin in The Last King of Scotland, which i watched with wei meng and russell today. Forest Whitaker is unbelievingly convincing as the psychotic Amin. And he really looks like a bear, albeit a schizophrenic one. He is one moment a cuddly teddy, another a ruthless and grimacing grizzly. He dismembered his fourth wife for having a tryst. The adulterer got hoisted in the air by hooks pierced into his chest. That gotta hurt. But gore aside, this is really an intense and interesting drama that I would recommend all to watch.

I also watched Happy Birthday with hui xin on Sunday. Honestly, the film has not an ounce of originality, but I like the chemistry between Louis Koo and Rene Liu very much. And Rene scores, as usual, with her nuanced yet layered performance. Overall, the flick is warm, subtle and sweet, and endearingly close to heart.

Speaking of birthdays, a lot of my friends and myself turn 21 this year. I'm quite thrilled that we are all moving towards adulthood. Towards freedom and independence. Where we decide our own destiny. That's something.


-= Joke of the Post =-

Q: Why did the vampire refuse to die for his wife?

A: Because their love was an undying love.

Ersatz Ensemble

Third day of work.. Was supposed to blog earlier about my work, but was out late the last 2 days.

I am one of 29 new temporary staff newly employed to process applications for the MIO Plan, a new bundle service offered by Singtel. Apparently, this new service has generated such an overwhelming response that 29 new temp staff are needed. But personally, I have to agree that the MIO plan is quite attractive. For $68 a month, you get free house calls, 3 Mbps broadband, and a basic mobile plan. Not bad at all..

27 out of 29 are either girls waiting for 'A' lvl results and uni entry or guys who completed NS and are waiting for uni entry. Most are pretty nice and fun, I guess. I even met Eugene, a friend from Anderson Sec. Yet, a couple of guys are pretty lame in a nauseous manner. I'm on the verge my patience threshold and close to administering my own brand of verbal justice. For the job itself, it is quite idiot-proof; lectures were hypnotising, but hands-on were pretty ok.

Anyway, Zhaoxiu launched a public vendetta aginst me on her blog for a harmless encouragement to spur her to greater viewership. So you think I'll lead a more boring life than you huh? We shall see..


-= IQ Question of the Post =-

Question:

Complete the following sequence consisting of 7 alphabets:

M , T , W , T, _ , _ , _

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Answer:

M , T , W , T , F , S , S

The sequence represents the days of a week, from Monday to Sunday.

Enemity

This is my third time watching War and Beauty, <<金枝欲孽>>, on Channel U. It is such a classic epic, that it deserved to be one of the best drama serials of all times. The actors live their characters superbly, the plot is tense and gripping, and the twists are anything but predictable. Most of all, the verbal confrontations between the protagonists are so awesome and exciting that one craves for more. And they have left so many quote-worthy lines that I must post them here.

In order of my liking for the character:

Lady Ru 如妃

On Yuying's tactics to get into her good books,
“自作聪明，也要看有没有本宫聪明。”

When meeting the Empress in the imperial garden after she succumbed to a ploy by the Empress,
“皇后看起来好像是很久没开屏，但今天终于有机会的孔雀。可是如玥从来没有兴趣当孔雀，因为能浴火重生的只有凤凰。“

On how take revenge on the Empress,
“能杀皇后的，只有皇上。要皇上杀自己的皇后，需要一个很好的理由。”


Anqian 安茜

Anqian's fatal weakness,
“天下间罪被逼得人并非无情，而是利用感情。”

The game of Survivor,
“在后宫，有人奉承你，代表有人想利用你； 有人对你好，则代表有人想害你。”


Erchun 尔淳

Men beware!
“要得到男人的心，最下乘的方法是千依百顺，中乘的是若即若离，最上乘的是求而不得。”


Yuying 玉莹

On how to reach an unshakable position,
“与其争抢皇上的恩宠，不如抢抢皇上的血脉。”


Empress 皇后

Lecturing the concubines under her charge,
“在后宫，可以平分秋色，但不可一度扎挠头，可以各展所长，但不可以独领风骚。”

On her triumph over Lady Ru after many years,
“要赢得多，就得先学怎么输。”

To her husband the Emperor,
“其他妃嫔只把你当主子，只有我把你当夫君。”


Yeah, these are a few I remembered deeply, for their well-crafted mastery, double meanings and sheer wit.

Euphoria

On Friday, I finally found my first proper job with CPF contributions. I will be working as a temporary staff at Singtel Comcenter (near Somerset MRT) and my job scope is primarily data processing.

Well, after incessant nagging from my mother and constant lecturing from my father on how I have squandered my time away at home and hanging out with my friends instead of earning my own keep, I finally gave them a reason to stop their verbal exercises.

On a sidenote, this has made me realise that I don't practise what I preach. I recall having severely reprimanding at least 2 army friends for idling around and not actively search for jobs. Yet, surprise, surprise, they found jobs ahead of me. Sigh.

But whatever it is, I will be starting work on Monday. Besides feeling relieved, I also feel thrilled and excited as I have a good feeling about my new job. And I shall find out soon enough whether my intuition is right!


-= Joke of the Post =-

Height is a common cause of concern for many, including alphabets.

So is A or C shorter?

Ans: A, because ABCD = A 比 C 低!

Epiphany

The first post..

I approach 21 this year. Suddenly, I come to realise friends have walked in and out of my life. And they have left footprints behind.

As we move to adulthood, we move in different directions in life. We may not have time to see, call or even message once another. We might not even talk when we see one another pop up on MSN. This is the reason for setting up this blog. Old friends can check out interesting updates in my life. New friends can know more about me.

Yup, I guess that's all for now.

To all who have made and are going to make ripples and waves in my life, welcome and welcome back.


-= Joke of the Post =-

Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up were good friends.

One day, Trouble was arrested by the police for smuggling in pirated DVDs from Malaysia. Trouble and Manners decided to bail their buddy.

At the police station, Manners, who was quite retarded, decided to stay outside to avoid saying the wrong things. So Shut Up went in alone. The conversation went something like this..

Policeman: Welcome. What's your name?
Shut Up: Shut Up!
Policeman: Where are your manners?
Shut Up: Outside.
Policeman: Are you looking for trouble?
Shut Up: Yes!